Job Motihba
Issues of the heart
Copyright © 2018 by Job Motihba
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.
Job Motihba asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
First edition
ISBN: 9781387900473
Translation by Tektime
Agent: bulabuka.co.za
This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy
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This book is dedicated to my family, friends and all my spiritual leaders in the body of Christ.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Contents
1 Foreword
2 Preface
3 Acknowledgement
4 INTRODUCTION
5 EMOTIONS: POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE
6 POSITIVE EMOTIONS: LOVE, JOY, PEACE AND HAPPINESS
7 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS: HURT, PAIN, ANGER, LOSS, JEALOUSY AND REVENGE
8 FORGIVENESS AND HEALING
9 LET GO AND MOVE ON!
10 BIBLICAL REFERENCES:
11 About the Author
12 Also by Job Motihba
Foreword
Preface
The author is speaking about more than just medical heart issue, but spiritual and emotional heart issues, when he speaks about issues of the heart. When people misbehave it is not always because they are bad or want attention. It is a cry out for help. Since you don’t know the pain someone feels inside or the hurt they carry around. You don’t see how miserable they are feeling and, the fact that they are blaming themselves for stuff they had no control over. Such as death of their loved ones etc.
We all hurt and express how we feel differently. Some hide it deep inside until they explode. Some go to the gym or tell everyone they know. Life is not easy for everyone but, you can choose to help someone or you can choose to talk bad about them.
There are many people with depression, who cut themselves to inflict pain and some overdosed. You just never know the pain behind someone’s smile. They can hide anything with a smile and some lies that “I am great blah, blah, blah…” Let’s love one another. God loves us all “He is good to all, and has compassion on all he has created.” (Psalm 145:9)
Acknowledgement
Special appreciation and thanks to Cornerstone Christian Family Church and all the social media communities especially those on:
(facebook, twitter and Whatsapp).
twitter:job@jobmothiba
jobmothiba@gmail.com
Cell: +27732084668
One
INTRODUCTION
When you were little, all you wanted to do was growing up but, right now that seems like scariest thing ever. There are things we never forget when growing up, the good and bad memories.
Remember the things you always wanted, you were always someone that craved love and attention. Some were bullied, rejected, challenged to fight and ran away etc. I don’t know about all of you but, if you can take five to ten minutes to pour out as many incidents as you can remember!
How does that make you feel now? That was part of growing up, after all, we were young and we didn’t know what life could be like at this stage. Because now you realise that you don’t always get what you wish for, you get what you work for.
I believe your list of those incidents good or bad, minor or major are endless but, you might be missing a very important factor which is God, for without Him none of those things would have been possible. He is still in control. Even if it’s so hard now to forget disappointments and pains of the past but, God never ignored anyone who would go down on their knees to ask for help in prayer. “He provides food for the livestock and for the young ravens when they call.” (Psalm 147:9)
Be transparent enough to ask, open enough to hear, and willing to think it through. For it can be easy to bury our pain deep in our hearts but, if one person shares, will encourage others to do the same and can cause the despair to be broken. So, say everything that’s in your heart. It is not about people’s reaction, it is about your freedom. “And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
Perhaps, now it is a different story all together, what cheers you up or makes you sad may be different from the time you were growing up. But, it doesn’t matter what it is, when life expects something from you, show up and play your part. Be responsible. You don’t have to feel bad because you’re going through a tough time in life. Remember, that no matter how bad your situation may seem, there are tens of thousands of things to be grateful for in life. “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world” (John 16:33)
Two
EMOTIONS: POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE
Human emotions are a gift from God, a good gift wrapped up in the very nature of us. If you check the word emotion, it contains the word motion, because feelings are fuel that move us. So, actions are natural followers when our feelings lead. And, unfortunately our feelings are not always the most trustworthy leaders. Much of the authors often quotes, “follow your heart”. But according to (Jeremiah 17: 9), it is not a wise one. “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.”
The heart is a place where impressions become feelings that result in motivations. If left unchecked, our heart can depend wholly on its own counsel and cause us to distrust others and the wisdom of God. That is why “be true to yourself” can be dangerous counsel sometimes because it depends on what kind of “self” is making demands. Therefore, following our hearts may ultimately lead to a paranoid and isolated life.
When we are “moved” with emotion, we tend to weep at a grave side or rejoice at the birth of a child, these are part of the human fabric and make us like Jesus, who wept and loved and; felt abandoned. (John 11:35, Matthew 27:46).
We show our emotions differently. Some feel more deeply, weep more easily and love with more passion than others. As someone may be thought or said to be “emotional” or even too emotional when they simply express their emotions with liberty.
For I know for the fact that sometimes, when people misbehave it is not always because they are bad or want attention. It is a cry out for help. Since you don’t know the pain someone feels inside or the hurt they carry around. You don’t see how miserable they are feeling and, the fact that they are blaming themselves for stuff they had no control over. Such as death of their loved ones etc.
So, next time you see such people, pray for them. We all hurt and express how we feel differently. Some hide it deep inside until they explode. Some go to the gym or tell everyone they know. Life is not easy for everyone but, you can choose to help someone or you can choose to talk bad about them.
I know people with depression, who cut themselves to inflict pain and some overdosed. You just never know the pain behind someone’s smile. They can hide anything with a smile and some lies that “I am great blah, blah, blah…” Let’s love one another. God loves us all “He is good to all, and has compassion on all he has created.” (Psalm 145:9)
We all make stupid mistakes in life. We do things we regret. I have also done many things that I am not grateful for, especially when in pain of the heart, of which sometimes I need help and support. I may have crazy ideas and those ideas don’t always work out right. But, God is great.
“...Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you” (Luke 1:28)
Smile, today is going to be a great day. Just trust God and know He would not let you fall. Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.
“… Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5)
Do you sometimes feel it in your bones that something is not right, (especially when you wake up in the morning) something that you have always known but, you do not know why?
Perhaps, every time when the sun goes down you also face another night of uncertainties. You wait for the world to spin around just to survive. But, when you see the morning sun burning through a silver mist, don’t you want to thank Someone?
Do you even wonder why in spite of all that is wrong there is still so much that goes so right and beauty abounds?
First, you woke up. Next, you got up. And now go ahead, finish the process by looking up to God and give thanks that you can see the sun of hope glimmers with promises.
Tell yourself that I am stronger than the challenges of yesterday, and the challenges of today will make me even stronger. “Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, The Lord is a light for me.” (Micah 7:8)
So, begin your day with a light heart, breathe out the cold air of disappointment and breathe in the warmth of positivity. Let all your worries be swept aside or simply look beyond them and move into your freedom. Smile and share the love of God. His love for us compares no bounds. There is none like Him. None ever. “...He will quiet you with his love...” (Zephaniah. 3:17)
Moreover, begin your day in the Spirit and you will be conscious of the guidance of the Holy Spirit right through the day. Let God have His way, whatever the cost. Hence it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him...” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
At this moment, you may feel sad, sick, disappointed, lost and alone, and you want to hear words of reassurance, words to calm your fears. Talking to your best friend is sometimes all the therapy you need but, I want to tell you that there is a friend who sticks closer than your brother. So, give all your anxieties to Him. He knows exactly where you are, how you feel and He has an amazing plan for your life. He sees your lack, suffering and pain. He will surely supply an opportunity bigger and greater than before. He will make a way. For He is for love, restoration, peace and hope. Open your heart and invite Him into your life. Just to be close to him, He will satisfy every thirst, every hunger and heal all your diseases. For everything you need is found in His presence. “He will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
Our feelings are real and they are powerful but, they are not more powerful than God and truth. There are days you will need to tell your feelings to stay home and rest, because they are speaking against what God is telling you to do. Do not let your feelings convince you to push your faith off the cliff because the problem showed up. You can suffer pain and yet still praise God. You can lose but, still gain so much more in spiritual growth. So, you have to command your soul (mind, will, and emotions) to praise the Lord because your feelings are saying otherwise. “Let everything that has breathe praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!” (Psalm 150:6)
Thus, if you do not have a devotional life, you will have an emotional life. For a devotional life produces a promotional life. So, stay true to yourself and never be ashamed of asking what God’s will is for you and stick to it. At the end of the day before you close your eyes, be content with where you have been, and proud of who you are. You are inferior to no one. Though others may treat you that way, but that is their problem. You are above all of this. People will always have their own opinions of you. It is their right but, it should make no difference to you. God’s opinion matters for you.
May the grace, love and peace of God be with you. Let not your heart be troubled.
Regardless of what you feel is wrong or right you must know that the enemy is always running after your soul. If he cannot devour you, he can at least make you lose hope. Since, there is a choice to make in every temptation because you are a free moral being, go beyond what you feel like doing and do what is right. Every time you do what is right when you do not feel like it, you are growing. Nothing is hidden from God’s eyes. He sees you everywhere but you are nowhere. Stay in one place, be grounded and bear fruit. “…Whoever believes need never be shaken.” (Isaiah 28: 16)
For what is designed to make us strong and mentally tough can also cause our blood pressure to reach astounding levels. Sometimes, it is the simplest and smallest problem or challenge that can push you over the edge. Because adversities are not predictable, there is no way of knowing when they are going to show up and interrupt your life.
With less or no confidence in God the smallest negative feedback will knock you sideways. You could be having the greatest day ever then, out of nowhere a hurdle appears in the middle of the track, without warning, and you find yourself tripping and falling. So, rather than letting that stop your forward progress, decide to make it a defining moment to keep moving forward. I decree and declare that all the unexpected situations and circumstances will not affect your mood and all that comes before you. “Let not your hearts be troubled...” (John 14:1)
Sometimes, there is no need to analyse every tiny thing. Even though some things are meant to be understood, others are meant to simply be experienced and appreciated and; then move forward. Do not spend one more day held hostage by sad feelings, emotions, and circumstances. Feelings do not run the show. There is a reality deeper than our feelings. So, do not let your feelings lead your life because many times, they choose the moment, not the truth. If you stop over- thinking everything, worrying and stressing today, your day will be so much better. Instead, tell someone they are appreciated today. It is one of the simplest, yet most incredible thing that someone can hear. Even if they are not having a bad day. You can make a good day even better. Just a little compliment can make someone’s entire day.
In fact, things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter the least. Your mood should not dictate your manners. It makes people see what you are not, not as what you are. I believe that when we work on being compassionate and accommodating others without judging them, we will find that those around us respond the same. One word or one action, whether positive or negative can affect so many others.
So, be careful what you use in the formula. For every once in a while life will give you a dose of your own medicine. You must recognise that people are not required to think the same way you do on every issue under the sun. Just because it does not make sense to you, does not mean it does not make sense at all. Sometime you have to shut up, listen and accept that you are wrong. It is not giving up but, growing up.
However, there is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough. People usually give up because it is easier than working things out, just as they lie, because sometimes it is easier than being honest. Besides, “An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.” (Proverbs 24:26)
Learn to speak politely in the language that can be understood by others. Thus, language affects attitude and attitudes impact action. If you do, it’s done. If you don’t, it will weigh on your mind - like driving a car with the handbrake on.
Now, you may choose to look the other way but you can never say again you did not know. Hence, to know better and not do better is worse than not knowing at all. As the Bible say, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and does not do it, it is sin for them.” (James 4:17)
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Let me pray:
“I pray that whatever part of the world you are located, may you see the daylight. May light of righteousness shine unto you.” Amen!
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When people ask how you are, do you tell them what they want to hear, or how you really feel? I used to think there is bravery in hiding your emotions and courage in pretending as if everything is fine. Problems take root and grow, when you close your eyes and pretend. Open up! It allows your thoughts and feelings to be as they are, making room for them and letting them come and go as they naturally do. Nature cannot be fooled. It is not about feeling good, it is about feeling alive. You deserve to have a full life.
Sometimes it is harder to not say something, than saying it. Never be afraid to speak your mind, you have one for a reason. Saying what you feel it is not being rude, it is being real. However, certain things are better left unsaid. Just because you do not say certain things, does not mean you do not feel them. You can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you just by keeping all your feelings hidden. When you hide your hurt it may manifest in other areas and you become a prisoner of that hidden hurt.
Perhaps, you find it is so easy to open up all your problems to strangers because they won’t judge you and, when its people you know, you really do not want to tell them instead, you prefer to tell the whole world about how you feel towards something. Tell it to one who really cares to listen. Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you, He is near to the broken and confused. I guess by now you know Who I am talking about!!! He said “…whoever comes to Me I will never cast out.” (John 6:37)
So, do not be discouraged and throw in the towel. Just give up the fantasy of how you think your life should have been and be at peace. It is time to let go of those feelings of guilt, hurt, shame and defeat; and put God first, knowing that with Him you have all the victory. “In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:6)
And, if you ever feel useless, down and out, just remember you are still alive and you will get over what you think is a disadvantage in your life. May God take what looks like a liability for you and turn it into an asset and; have you first in your season as you acknowledge Him. So, rejoice, this could be your “cloud like a man’s hand” (1 Kings 18:44), a sign that your season is changing for the better. “The LORD will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens and will bless all the work you do…” (Deuteronomy 28:12)
Thus, no matter how useless you feel, you are someone’s reason to smile. Do not ever think you are nothing. Somewhere along the line, there is someone who truly thinks you are everything. However, you cannot expect someone to value you if you do not value yourself. When you stop judging, criticising your body and feeling sorry for yourself and begin to accept yourself, people will also love and appreciate you. Keep the smile, leave the tension, feel the joy, forget the worry, hold the peace, leave the pain, and always be happy. “This will bring healing to your body, and refreshment to your inner self.” (Proverbs 3:8)
You may be tired of going to bed at night with a vague underlying feeling that there is more to life than you are experiencing now. But, allow me to tell you that nobody has a perfect life. Everybody has their own problems. It is just that some people know how to deal with it in a better way. So, making bad decisions and being ashamed of the outcomes is part of life. Just forgive yourself. You are not defined by a moment. You are no worse off than anybody else. Stop believing the worst about yourself. When you feel the need to be resentful, or angry, or to feel sorry for yourself, remind yourself to be thankful instead. Because someone somewhere may be wishing and praying to have the same life as yours. Thus, the first and the best victory is to conquer self.
Do not feel resentful because life has not given you what you want yet, your time will come, just have a little faith and be true to yourself. However, you cannot always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes you must dare to jump..! But, start somewhere. The only job where you start at the top is digging a hole, hence you ought to start somewhere. The day you get comfortable is the day your real opportunity passes you by. Every day you wait is another day you would not get back. The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.
You may have great intentions but, unless you let your actions speak louder than your words, nothing will ever unfold. A real decision is measured by the fact that you have taken a new action. If there is no action, you have not truly decided. “...The people who know their God will display strength and take action.” (Daniel 11:32)
In the meantime, I would like to encourage you to enjoy life by limiting your emotional baggage to a small carry-on. Sometimes you just got to leave people to do the things they do, trying to hurt you. But, you know you are matured when you realize that every situation does not need a reaction. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take all to God in prayer. Just like Jesus, “He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. (1 Peter 2:23)
Perhaps, some have not apologised to you because they are ashamed of their actions. Forgive them anyway, be okay with a sorry you never got because forgiveness un-blocks your blessing. Do it, you are worth it. May God’s favour find you, causes you to be at the right place, at the right time, giving you good success.
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“May God’s glorious name forever receive honour. Amen.” (Galatians 1:5)
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